K12 complaints

disgruntled woman

How to deal with a school teacher when something is going wrong

When something is going wrong at school, many parents start with the teacher.

That makes sense. The teacher often sees your child every day. They may be the person giving instructions, managing behaviour, communicating concerns, implementing the IEP, responding to dysregulation, or deciding whether a support happens in practice.

But problems with teachers can become confusing quickly. Sometimes the issue is a misunderstanding. Sometimes it is a communication gap. Sometimes the teacher needs support, direction, or training. Sometimes the problem is not really the teacher at all, but a school or district system that has left one classroom adult trying to manage needs they were never resourced to meet.

And sometimes a teacher’s conduct is harmful enough that it needs to be documented and escalated.

This page is about how to respond when something is going wrong with a teacher, without getting stuck in blame, endless meetings, or vague concern.

Start by naming what is happening

Before deciding what to do, try to name the issue as clearly as possible.

Ask yourself:

  • Is my child being denied support?
  • Is my child being treated differently because of disability-related needs?
  • Is my child being disciplined for behaviour connected to unmet needs?
  • Is the teacher refusing or ignoring part of the IEP?
  • Is communication breaking down?
  • Is my child being humiliated, isolated, or excluded?
  • Is the teacher saying one thing while doing another?
  • Is the issue serious enough that my child’s safety, dignity, access, or wellbeing is being affected?

Clear description matters. “The teacher is awful” may be emotionally true, but it is hard to act on. “My child’s sensory breaks are listed in the IEP but are not being provided” gives you a starting point.

Separate teacher conflict from access problems

Not every teacher problem is only a teacher problem.

If your child is disabled, neurodivergent, medically complex, traumatised, anxious, burned out, or otherwise needs support to access education, the issue may be an accommodation issue.

That means the central question is not just:

Is the teacher being reasonable?

It is also:

What barrier is preventing my child’s access to education, and what is the school doing to remove it?

A teacher may be part of the problem, but the school and district still have responsibility. They cannot avoid their duty by treating the issue as a personality conflict between a parent and a teacher.

Put the concern in writing

Start with a short, clear email. Keep it factual.

You can write to the teacher first if the issue is classroom-level and not urgent. If the concern is serious, ongoing, or connected to disability accommodation, copy or include the principal.

Example:

I am writing because I am concerned that [child’s name] is not receiving [specific support/accommodation] during [class/time/activity]. This support is needed because [brief disability-related need or barrier]. Please confirm by [date] how this support will be provided going forward.

You do not need to tell the whole story in the first email. The goal is to create a clean record: what is wrong, what your child needs, and when you expect a response.

Give a clear deadline

A request without a deadline can disappear into “we’re working on it.”

Use a simple line:

Please respond by Friday.

For routine issues, a few school days may be reasonable. For safety, exclusion, distress, or loss of access, use a shorter timeline.

If the deadline passes, follow up once.

Example:

I expected a response by today and have not received one. Please respond by end of day tomorrow. If I do not hear back, I will escalate this concern to the principal.

That is not hostile. It is clear. Also see Solving problems.

Watch for disability accommodation issues

If the concern connects to disability, say so clearly.

Use language like:

I am concerned this is a disability-related barrier to access.

Or:

My child’s behaviour appears connected to unmet disability-related needs. I am asking the school to consider accommodation before discipline.

Or:

My child requires this support to access education meaningfully and safely.

This matters because schools have duties to inquire, consult, facilitate accommodation, and avoid discrimination. Your Solving problems page explains that schools must accommodate a wide range of disabilities and conditions, including situations where a child has no formal diagnosis but their needs are known or ought to be known.

Also see:

If the teacher says your child is “fine”

Sometimes a teacher sees a child who appears calm, compliant, or quiet. The family sees collapse at home.

Both may be true.

You can write:

I understand that [child’s name] may appear fine during class. At home, we are seeing [specific impact: meltdowns, shutdowns, refusal, exhaustion, panic, sleep disruption]. I am concerned that school is taking more capacity than my child has. I am asking the school to consider this as part of the accommodation picture.

The teacher’s observation matters, but it is not the whole evidence base. Parent evidence matters too.

See Why does my kid melt down every day after school if they’re “fine”?

If the teacher is not following the IEP

An IEP that exists on paper but is not implemented is a serious concern.

Try to avoid arguing about intention. Focus on implementation.

You can write:

[Child’s name]’s IEP says [specific support]. My understanding is that this has not been happening consistently. Please confirm whether this support is currently being provided, who is responsible, and how implementation will be tracked.

If the teacher cannot provide the support because of staffing, training, class size, or scheduling, that is still a school/district problem. The child’s access should not depend on whether one teacher has been set up to succeed.

Your IEP goals page makes the same broader point: a useful plan names what adults will do, what support will be provided, and how the child will be helped to access learning.

See: Solving problems at school: accommodation and IEP failures and The school is ignoring my child’s IEP

If your child is being punished for behaviour that may be connected to disability, unmet needs, bullying, sensory overload, anxiety, communication difficulty, trauma, or lack of accommodation, name that.

You can write:

I am concerned that [child’s name] is being disciplined for behaviour connected to unmet disability-related needs. Before further consequences are imposed, I am asking the school to identify the barrier, review what accommodation was in place at the time, and consider what support would prevent this from happening again.

This shifts the focus from “What consequence should the child receive?” to “What condition produced the behaviour, and what must adults change?”

If the response is suspension, partial days, room clears, early pickups, or pressure to keep the child home, this may also become an exclusion issue. Your exclusion page explains that exclusion is any reduction in meaningful access to education, including informal practices like partial schedules, early pickups, room clears, and pressure to stay home.

See

If the teacher wants to handle everything by phone

Phone calls can be useful. They can also leave you with no record.

If you speak by phone, take notes. After the call, send a short summary.

Example:

Thank you for speaking with me today. My notes are that we discussed [summary]. I understand the next steps are [summary]. Please let me know if I have misunderstood or missed anything.

This is not aggressive. It protects everyone from later confusion.

See:

When to involve the principal

Involve the principal when:

  • the teacher does not respond;
  • the response does not address the issue;
  • the issue has happened more than once;
  • your child’s access, safety, dignity, or wellbeing is affected;
  • the issue involves disability accommodation;
  • the IEP is not being implemented;
  • your child is being excluded, disciplined, or sent home;
  • you need a school-wide plan, not just a classroom conversation; or
  • the teacher’s conduct itself is concerning.

A teacher may not have authority to solve the problem. The principal is responsible for school-level implementation, supervision, safety, and escalation.

You can write:

I am escalating this concern to you because I have raised it with [teacher] and the issue remains unresolved. My concern is that [child’s name] is not receiving [support/access/safety]. Please confirm what steps the school will take and by when.

See: When to escalate: the decision node

When to move beyond the principal

Move beyond the principal when:

  • the principal does not respond;
  • the school keeps holding meetings but nothing changes;
  • timelines keep moving;
  • your child continues to lose access;
  • the school refuses to put decisions in writing;
  • the issue reflects a pattern of accommodation failure;
  • the school suggests reduced attendance or exit instead of support; or
  • the harm is serious and continuing.

Possible next steps include district inclusive education staff, the superintendent, a district complaint or appeal, a Section 11 appeal, the BC Human Rights Tribunal, the Ombudsperson, the OIPC, or the Teacher Regulation Branch, depending on the issue. Your complaint-types page explains that these pathways are not mutually exclusive and each has a different purpose.

See: A parent’s complaint guide for BC schools: when to push and when to escalate

When the Teacher Regulation Branch may be appropriate

The Teacher Regulation Branch is for serious concerns about an individual certified teacher or administrator’s professional conduct. It is not the right pathway for every bad decision, poor communication, or disagreement.

It may be relevant if a specific educator:

  • lied to you or falsified records;
  • retaliated against your child or family;
  • ignored clear safety issues;
  • harmed a student;
  • crossed professional boundaries;
  • failed to report suspected abuse or neglect; or
  • behaved in a way that may fall below professional standards.

The TRB cannot provide remedies for your child, order accommodations, change district practices, or award compensation. It addresses individual professional conduct, not institutional failure.

So if the problem is “this teacher’s conduct needs to be on their professional record,” TRB may fit.

If the problem is “my child needs support, access, accommodation, or a remedy,” other pathways may be more useful.

See: How can I make a teacher complaint? or How to file a complaint about a teacher in British Columbia

What to document

Keep records of:

  • what happened;
  • when it happened;
  • who was involved;
  • what your child said;
  • what the teacher said or did;
  • what support was supposed to be provided;
  • whether the IEP was followed;
  • what you asked for;
  • how the teacher responded;
  • whether the principal was informed;
  • whether anything changed;
  • any impact on attendance, learning, health, dignity, or family life.

Do not wait until things are extreme. Patterns are easier to show when you record them as they unfold.

If you are just starting to work out what kind of problem this is, read Solving problems. It explains disability accommodation, reasonable effort, meaningful inquiry, duty to consult, and when to move beyond school-level communication.

If your child is being sent home, put on a partial schedule, removed from class, excluded from activities, or pressured out of school, read What to do if your child is being excluded.

If you need to understand complaint pathways, read Complaint types. It explains the difference between district appeals, Section 11, human rights complaints, Ombudsperson complaints, OIPC complaints, TRB complaints, and MLA advocacy.

If a specific decision needs to be reversed, read District appeals and Section 11. That page explains the difference between an internal district appeal and the statutory Section 11 pathway that can go beyond the district.

If the issue is serious individual educator misconduct, read Teacher Regulation Branch before filing.

If the issue is that the IEP itself is weak, vague, or focused too much on changing the child instead of supporting the child, read Advocating for better IEP goals.

The bottom line

Start with the teacher when that makes sense.

But do not stay there forever.

If the issue is affecting your child’s access, safety, dignity, disability support, attendance, or wellbeing, it is not just a teacher conflict. It is a school responsibility.

Write it down. Name the barrier. Ask for a response by a clear date. Escalate if nothing changes.

You are not being difficult by expecting the adults around your child to respond.

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