FAQs
Most parents arrive at this page tired, confused, and quietly questioning themselves. You may have already asked for help — clearly and in good faith — and been met with delay, dismissal, or endless process. You may be wondering whether you’re overreacting, misunderstanding the system, or asking for too much. You’re not!
Common questions
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How can I get help?
When you bring an advocate into a meeting about your child’s education, something shifts — and it is almost never what parents expect. Most families imagine that involving a third party will escalate…
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Why does the school keep saying everything is fine when it isn’t?
When your child is struggling and the school keeps insisting that “things are going well,” it can feel surreal. Parents often leave meetings wondering whether they and the school are describing the same…
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Is it lack of support or is it child abuse?
This page exists because the line between lack of support and child abuse is one that institutions have every incentive to keep blurred, and families have every right to examine clearly.
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Am I obligated to send my child to school if they have been harmed there?
Many parents feel frightened to keep their child home from school, even when the child is clearly distressed or traumatised. Families are often told that school attendance is mandatory and may worry that lawyers…
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How do I file a complaint against a teacher in BC?
You probably have tried everything else first. You have written the polite emails, attended the meetings where nothing changed, listened to reassurances that dissolved within days, and absorbed the particular exhaustion of being…
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What if my child is scared to go to school?
When a child is afraid to go to school, it is often treated as a behaviour problem: refusal, avoidance, or anxiety that needs to be managed. But fear rarely appears without a reason.…
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Who investigates problems at school in BC?
Something has gone wrong at your child’s school, and you know it is serious enough to warrant more than another meeting with the principal. The question is where to go—because in British Columbia,…
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Why schools get defensive when parents document things?
One of the most disorienting parts of advocacy is discovering that schools treat your written record of what happened as the problem—rather than what happened to your child. You kept notes because promises…
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Why do schools say “behaviour” instead of disability?
When parents raise concerns about disability-related needs, schools sometimes respond by describing the issue as “behaviour.” A child who is overwhelmed may be described as oppositional. A child who shuts down may be described as…
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Is my child’s school gaslighting me?
Institutional gaslighting occurs when a school or district systematically undermines your perception of events, dismisses your documented concerns, or reframes harm as misunderstanding—leaving you to question whether the problem lies with you rather…
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What does success actually look like in school complaints?
Success in school complaints rarely looks like the resolution families imagined when they began. There is almost never an apology. There is rarely an admission that something went wrong. The school will not,…
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How do I protect my child emotionally while pursuing a complaint?
Complaints are stressful for the whole family, and children are perceptive in ways that adults consistently underestimate. A child does not need to overhear a specific conversation to absorb the tension that a…
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What if the school says “this is just how we do things”?
Institutional normalisation is not a legal defence, and it is not a satisfactory answer. “This is our practice” is one of the most common responses families receive when they challenge something a school…
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Can I pursue more than one complaint pathway at the same time?
Yes. Many families assume they must choose one path and exhaust it before opening another. In reality, different pathways address different dimensions of the same harm, and pursuing them in parallel is not…
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What’s the risk of waiting too long to escalate a complaint?
The biggest risk is not conflict. It is lost options. BC’s formal complaint pathways carry hard deadlines that run whether or not you are aware of them. A human rights complaint must generally…
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Why do schools sometimes respond defensively when parents document everything?
Documentation threatens ambiguity, and ambiguity protects institutions. When parents begin keeping clear records — dates, quotes, follow-ups — schools may shift tone. You might be labelled “adversarial” or “untrusting.” This response is about…
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What does procedural unfairness look like in BC schools?
Procedural unfairness is about how decisions are made, not just what decisions are reached. Common examples include: Procedural unfairness matters because it is reviewable. Bodies like the Ombudsperson do not re-decide educational policy — they…
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Is it normal for schools to ask parents to “work collaboratively” during serious harm?
“Collaboration” is often presented as a moral requirement, but it is not always appropriate — especially when serious harm is occurring. Collaboration assumes shared power and good faith. Many complaint situations involve neither.…
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How do I know if advocacy has turned into a time trap?
Advocacy becomes a time trap when it consumes increasing amounts of energy while producing diminishing returns. Parents often describe this as constantly preparing: drafting emails, gathering documentation, attending meetings, following up, waiting —…
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When does “be patient” become a red flag rather than reasonable advice?
Patience is often framed as a virtue in school advocacy. In reality, it can quietly become a mechanism for delay. Patience is reasonable when there is a clear plan, defined timelines, and visible…